Ernest Y. Koe » “biology”

"Hobby"

Ernest Koe — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 13:41:32 +0000

So, I find myself at a crossroads of sorts. True clarity still escapes me but a few things have come into focus.

For the first time in over twenty years, I have a hobby, photography. “Hobby” is a terrifying and alien word; terrifying because it is as much a statement about my relationship with “work” as it is one about “life.”

Words can be oppressive but I suppose language is inherently political.

My hobby is already teaching me a few things about myself. For one, I miss the joy of being immersed in one’s craft. Work used to be that way. Though, these days, I don’t wake up looking eagerly to write code or create user-interfaces. I lament the loss of that feeling particularly since the whole point of not having a regular job in the first place is to avoid the trappings of modern job-life. Work was play, and the existence of a hobby appears to have changed that equation. It bothers me deeply.

But I awoke this morning to a small insight. Beckett is three months and a week. He caught his first cold a few days ago, and has been a pitiful, heart-wrenching mess. This morning, at five thirty a.m., he was crying to be changed. I tried to focus.

C is starting her second day back at work after a three month long maternity leave. And as I laid in bed to coax resolve into consciousness, it occurred to me that I was tired. I felt this deep weariness borne from the wash cycle of life that was the last three months, a tiredness borne from the strange alchemy of happiness mixed with worry. In the confluence of all these changes, my rational center is struggling to hold, and my creative self is working overtime to compensate…

Intelligent Design Redux

Ernest Koe — Wed, 20 May 2009 23:19:45 +0000

As reported here by Jacksonville.com, State Senator (R) Stephen Wise from our fair city of Jacksonville wants to require teachers to teach “the idea” of intelligent design alongside the “scientific theory of evolution” in order to promote “critical thinking.” The quotes are mine to underscore the utter inanity of the language used in these kinds of discussions.

Talk about missing the point. Perhaps we can teach faith-based arithmatic in Calculus. That way, we would finally be able to apply our critical math skills to solve real world problems. We wonder why we have a crisis in our public education system? It’s because our public discourse is still stuck in the last century.

Beckett Yu-Kwan Koe

Ernest Koe — Sun, 17 May 2009 13:01:28 +0000

Beckett Arrives, originally uploaded by ernestkoe.

I must confess I was still ambivalent about the notion of fatherhood up till the very end. And then, in a singular sacred moment, he arrived, screaming with life and beautiful; I felt the universe expand for him.